I couldn’t resist giving this post a slightly naughty title. It’s something I’ve been thinking about writing about for a long time, but haven’t had time to sit down and compose all my thoughts on. Luckily, 6 hours of mindless work is a good time to think about random topics to write about, and this one didn’t require me to write anything down.

For those of you going “Birth control? How is THAT not vegan….?” or “Oh no, not another damn thing to worry about,” don’t worry too much. The good news: there are effective forms of vegan birth control (and STD prevention) that are more-or-less readily available. The bad news: really, there isn’t any… except you do have to keep reading and maybe make some slight lifestyle changes.

But before we get to the good stuff, a few thoughts on WHY vegans might feel ethically inclined to use birth control. As a vegan, I feel like we’re faced with a special set of circumstances surrounding bearing and rearing offspring. My decision not to have kids is one part ethical, one part selfish, with a healthy dash of fear thrown in for good measure. First of all, adding another human animal to our population seems a dangerous gamble to me - you have no real control over the life choices your children make.  If a child of mine ended up being an omnivore, I don’t know how I would react. I know I would feel guilty, and although I’m sure I’d still love my child, I don’t know if that’s something I’m willing to put myself through. I also feel that my resources could be better dedicated to making this world a better place for the thousands of humans and non-humans who already exist. Admittedly, I AM selfish - I love my free time, what little extra money I have, and having Alex all to myself. It’s not right to bring another being into that. And what about the hundreds of thousands of human children who don’t have families? Don’t we at least owe them the same consideration we do the millions of animals in shelters?

On the flip side, I feel like vegans who have kids are one of our best “weapons” for the future. Teaching your kids vegan values and proving to the world that children can be raised vegan, and live healthy, happy lives does amazing things for the animal rights movement. Kids make great advocates just by being kids. Plus the more vegans who have kids, the better the chances are of increasing the vegan population because these kids will grow up knowing that there are these options, and sharing that with their friends and hopefully their future families.

Either way you feel, you never know when you might need a good back-up plan. So without further ado..

Condoms(!)

Ah, the first line of defense. Well, maybe they’re not your preferred first line, but for a lot of people, condoms are where it all starts because they’re relatively inexpensive, readily available, and you don’t usually have to tell your parents to get them. The cons are, of course, that they have to be used correctly and some people just plain don’t like them.

Normally, condoms are not vegan. That’s right: though most condoms sold are made of latex, which CAN be vegan, most condom latex incorporates the dreaded casein (a milk protein that is most certainly not vegan). Shocker, I know. When I found out the curse words coming out of my mouth scared half the school library. So if you haven’t already done so, ditch your Trojans and explore vegan condom options, which are readily available online (and sometimes in stores like Whole Foods, or your local vegan-stuff supplier). The Glyde brand are great and dependable, and you can get a great deal on the from Food Fight! Vegan Grocery. Buying condoms from other suppliers may also be funding companies that perform animal testing for other products as well. Condoms are also a reliable method of protecting yourself against STDs.

What about other condom-like devices like dental dams and female-condoms? Glyde to the rescue! Glyde produces both vegan dental dams and….. sells the Femidom! Oh Glyde, you’re so my hero today.

The Pill (and other pill-like things)

I used to be a chronic pill junky. My brand of choice was a low dose generic bought at Planned Parenthood, which I switched too after several years on Ortho Tri-cycline. Birth control, like any OTC or prescription medication, is a vegan toss up. The good news is that the actual hormones in these pills are synthetic. However, some pills (probably most) DO contain animal bi-products like lactose, which is a common ingredient in pills. Options like NuvaRing and DepoProvera (the shot) may not directly contain animal products, but they were tested on animals, as is any birth control pill. This is a common conundrum for vegans - do I use products that have been tested on animals when no alternative exists? I think this one is up to you, however, birth control devices that introduce synthetic hormones have also been shown to cause physical harm to fish and other animals who live in watershed areas because these hormones aren’t completely used by the body, and are excreted in our urine. Our water filtration processes do not remove them, and so they end up back in the environment where they can cause reproductive malfunctions and other not good side effects. Some vegans may be comfortable with this, but you shouldn’t make the decision before knowing as much about the origins and side effects as possible. Unlike condoms and their ilk, they will not protect you from STDs.

I’m putting IUD devices in this category as well. Some, like Mirena, secrete hormones. Non-drug IUDs must be animal tested as well (you can read more about that here and make yourself a little sick in the process). Either way, they have the same ethical pitfalls as other medical birth control methods.

Nature

Natural birth control methods include withdrawal, the rhythm method, the ovulation method, Standard Days Method, and the sympto-thermal method. Most of these methods have been around in varying forms for thousands of years, and though they are generally less effective than condoms or medications, they do work. They’re probably best for people who are in stable relationships, with stable life styles who would feel comfortable living with the results of birth control gone awry (a.k.a. babies or abortions). And of course, they won’t protect you from STDs. They are 100% vegan, since they don’t require anything except you, a partner, and maybe a calendar and/or a thermometer - and abstinance at certain times of the month. To use these methods, you need to be able to trust your partner(s) and have established some expectations in advance about what would happen should the method fail, and how the method is going to be instituted.

Sterilization

An almost fool-proof method, but may require some teensy-weeny incisions. That, and cause you to loose your ability to reproduce, permanently. Or not (say hi to my baby sister who was magically conceived after a vasectomy, making our brother the only non-mistake child in our family). For men, this is most commonly a vasectomy, for women a tubal ligation. Sterilization is vegan, at least in that it uses no animal products (unless you take pain pills or other medications containing animal products). Like any surgery, it was at one point, tested on animals - as were the medications used to anesthetize during the procedure (for women). It IS elective surgery, but I’m inclined to believe it’s a matter of personal choice.

Vasectomies and ligations can be reversed with limited success, but this one is for people who really, really don’t like kids.

Non-birth control but still sex related stuff

Products like spermicides and lubrication are often either a) tested on animals or b) manufactured by conglomerates that do test on animals. Although those KY commercials are fun, they obscure the horrible truth behind the products. The good news is that there are many, many alternative brands of lubrication that don’t test on animals, so do everyone a favor and go the extra couple feet to assure that you get an ethical product. After all, the last thing you want to think about during the act is how your lubrication burned some poor rabbit’s eyes out.

http://www.glydehealth.com/

http://www.frenchlettercondoms.co.uk/

http://www.condomi-direct.co.uk/

http://www.vegancondoms.com/